Not Mine
by midorinohime
Summary: Nothing is ever more precious for a man to be with his family. To see his children grow and achieve their dreams and to love and grow old with his other half. He will do everything for them, even if he has to leave them, no matter how much it hurts.
1. Chapter 1

**NOT MINE**

(Part I)

by: _midorinohime_

* * *

><p>DING DONG!<p>

The two kids, a little girl who is about five years old and a lad who looks a year older than than her, scrambled to their feet, trying to beat each other to the door.

DING DONG!

"Sujin! JaeSeong! Don't open the door. Let me go get it!" A voice from the kitchen said. Must be the mother of the two cute children. She hastily washed her hands, and went to get the door. It's pretty dangerous nowadays to open the door at night. There are many bad guys so they have to be more careful.

Being young and full of energy, the kids managed to reach the door of their apartment, the little girl jumping up to unlock the door while her brother turned the knob to open it. Kids, they don't really listen to their parents much. Very hardheaded. Aigoo~

"I told you not to open the door!" she scolded the kids, but they weren't listening to her anymore. They were so busy jumping around the newcomer, who appeared to be enjoying the attention of the mischievous cherubs.

"Hey! Hey! Careful!" he managed to get inside the house and chuckled at the 'hyperness' of the children.

"Appa! Appa!" the little girl called ou to him with both arms extended to him, wanting him to carry her up. "Appa! Appa!"

"Ne... my little princess." he scooped her up in his arms while ruffling the little boys head. "Did you give Eomma a hard time?"

JaeSeong shook his head quite animatedly with his eyes wide and round, "Ani! Ani. We did not!" then he looked at his mom and said, "Right, eomma?"

Dara smiled. "Yes, but next time when I told you to not do something, just do as I say, okay?"

"Deh..."

"Let's go, it's dinner time appa must be very hungry right? So go prepare the table!" she said, acting like a child herself.

Sujin wriggled in her father's arms, indicating that she wanted to go and help prepare the table with her Oppa. They ran off towards the kitchen. Shuffling of chairs and sounds of plates being put on the table quite roughly could be heard.

Jiyong chuckled after seeing his wife grimace. "We can buy new ones, baby. Don't worry about it." he gathered her in his arms, smoothing out the frown on her still baby like face. She doesn't look like she already have two kids at all. It's like she's still in her early twenties. He smiled and kissed the tip of her nose lightly.

Dara closed her eyes, savoring their intimate moment, biting her lower lip. She missed him so much. Although they only had been apart for the whole day. Good thing is, she has the kids to take care of and have fun with.

She studied him a little. He looks so tired and stressed out. "Come on, babe. Eat a lot tonight and have a good slep. I think you need that the most." She tiptoed to give him a kiss and they both headed towards the kitchen, walking hand in hand.

"Let's eat!" he said, enthusiastically.

"Yay!"

* * *

><p><em><strong>Dara's POV<strong>_

"Dee-ah.. wake up, baby."

"Hhhhmmmm.. what time is it?" I looked at my wrist watch and sighed, after seeing the time. "Baby, do you know what time it is?" when he just pulled her up to a sitting position, with no sign of ever answering her, she added, "It's three in the morning Ji."

"Yes, you have to go now. Bring the kids with you."

"Huh? what do you mean?" I asked, a bit confused. My brain is a little bit fuzzy for i just woke up.

"Babe, you need to get the kids and you out of the country. I already prepared the things you will need. Other things I might have missed out you can just buy it okay?"

"Wait! Why?"

"National emergency. North Korea has started attacking the city of Seokcho. I already booked a flight for the kids and you. Stay in the Philippines for now."

"How about you?" feeling a bit scared of the sudden turn of events. Just last night, everything had been so perfect and peaceful and now... "You are not going with us?"

"Dara... we don't have time for this. I will go wake the kids up and drive you to Incheon International Airport. Go get yourself fixed up. Move fast." She sat there on their bed, not believing any of this events are happening right. 'This is just a nightmare, once I open my eyes it'll all be the same as yesterday, I'd wake up. Prepare the kids food for school. Make a cup of hot coffee for Ji. This isn't true!'

But I guess, life is really playing a game on me. I opened my eyes and saw the traveling bags near the open door of our bedroom. I saw the kids being ushered by my husband towards the living room and rushed up to our room.

"Dara lets go!" he exclaimed, bending down to get the bags. I scrambled up to my feet and followed him."Get the kids."

"Eomma, where are we going?" Sujin asked, rubbing her eyes with his little hands, while Jaeseong held my other hand.

I couldn't answer her. what should I say to my daughter when I don't even know what's happening!

"Princess, you'll go to the Philippines and have a vacation. Be good and don't give your Eomma a headache, arasso?"

"Vacation? Only us appa?" Jaeseong asked. "You not coming?"

We stopped in front of the car and put all teh bags at the compartment. He opened the back door for the kids to get in. "Put your seatbelt on, Jaeseon. Help your sister."

"Appa!" Sujin called out to him as soon as he was settled on his seat in front of teh car, beside me. "Appa, come with us!" she pleaded. She'd always been a daddy's girl.

"I can't Princess, Appa needs to stay." Sujin started to sob. JaeSeong hugged his sister and assured her.

"Don't cry, Sujin-ah... Appa will go after he finished his work. Right, Appa?" seeking his father's eyes.

"Neh, princess. I'll follow after all my work is done." That made the little girl smile a bit.

"Promise?" she asked, her lips quivering a bit and eyes a little puffy from crying.

"Neh," he then looked at me. Then, I know that it'd be really hard to fulfill that promise. I was panicking inside. Screaming at him, beg him to just go with us.

"Jiyong, just come with us. They wouldn't know..."

"No, dee. This is what I have to do. I promise I will come and follow you there." with full determination in his voice.

"You don't even know if you'll come out alive after this! Why are you being hardheaded?" I yelled at him, making sujin cry once again. Jaeseong lent the iPod to his sister. 'Sujin, listen to this song! It's your favorite!' he says. "Don't do this please, Ji" I begged. "Please..."

But I know, no matter how much I begged, he would still not go with us. That was when I realized, in these situations,

_My Jiyong,_

_Isn't really ours to keep..._


	2. Chapter 2

**NOT MINE**

_midorinohime_

* * *

><p>We stayed with my mother and Durami, who migrated back to the country which we consider our second home. I am thankful that Jiyong made sure that my brother's girlfriend, Ji Eun, is safe as well. We met them at the bus stop near where Sanghyun lives and together we headed towards teh airport with a heavy heart. I couldn't pretend that this is not affecting me in front of our children and my brother. Being the crybaby that I am, I continued to sob silently on our way to Incheon.<p>

It was so painful parting with my other half, when I fully know if he would be able to survive this battle unscathed. Not to mention my baby brother as well. Yes, he is a grown up man, and already engaged, but he is still my Cheondeong. My Little doongie.

Two of the most important people in my life are going to fight for our country, not to mention my friends and the people I have come to treasure. All those people I worked with.

How could I keep them safe? Why is our government so cruel to force them to fight for our country. I silently wished that somehow Korea has the same policy as Japan. In Japan, they let their people volunteer. It's their choice if they want to sacrifice their lives for the country. But here in Korea, they are not given a choice. I know that even if we have the same case just like Japan, Jiyong would still want to help defend the country.

I took one last glance at my husband, before I board the plane. I wanted to ran back to him and drag him along with me. I wish I have the power to shrink him and hide him inside my pocket. He gave me a small smile and nod at my direction, telling me to take a step forward and bring our family to safety.

His words kept on repeating in my mind. 'I will follow and come back to you.' he whispered before letting go of my hand and pushing me and the kids to give our passport to the officer.

"Unnie," Ji Eun held my hand as I watch sujin and jaeseong sleeping soundly in the seat near the window. "Don't worry. They'll be safe."

I sadly beamed at her. "Yes, we need to be strong.. Ji Eun-ah." I murmured as a tear escaped from my eye.

* * *

><p>I did not know how long we traveled from korea to the Philippines, but I found myself being woken up by my little princess, kissing my cheeks. "Eomma!"<p>

"Sujin-ah..." I was still sleepy. I don't remember falling asleep. Must have dozed off as I continued to pray for my loved ones and friends left back in Korea.

"Eomma, we're here."

My Mother and sister were already waiting for us. Both of them wearing this worried and relieved expression on their faces. Relieved to see us safe here but worried for the people left behind. The kids run to meet their grandma and Aunt. "Little angels, did you enjoy your flight?" Durami sweetly asked the two kids who eagerly nodded and grinned at her.

We are always happy whenever we visits this second home, but now as much we wanted to be happy that we are back in this warm country, our heart are still reaching out back in Korea.

So do I.

_Be safe... Jiyong.. please fulfill your promise._

* * *

><p>Every night, I find myself praying for my husband. Praying for his safety and for him to come home to us safe and sound. I cry myself to sleep. Every day, I watch the news and read articles on the internet, trying to see if there is any good news in Korea.<p>

Days had passed but the war still continued and the death toll continues to rise. Names of the late soldiers, now considered as heroes of the country, were being posted on the internet. Before reading the updated lists, I pray not to see any names of the people whom I know.

The kids were enjoying their stay. But they would often ask when their Appa would come. I would always answer 'soon' and hug my kids tight, making myself believe this one word that gives us hope.

SOON... I know he'll do what he said. He'll come for us. He always does...

Today, marked the second month after we arrive from Korea. Early in the morning, I turned the computer on and upon connecting to the internet my hand automatically click the website.

I closed my eyes, and prayed, the prayer I had come to memorize upon repeating every single day for these past two months.

I scanned the list of the people who had pushed up the daisies during the war, inwardly praying for their souls and comfort for the people they left behind.

_ 875. Song Jin-Ho_

_ 876. Ahn Soo_

_ 877. Jeong Dong-sun_

_ 878. Chung Shin_

_ 879. Koh Min Soo_

_ 880. Shin Dong Gun_

_ 881. Hong Kwang So_

_ 882. Yang Iseul_

_ 883. Jeong Un Chan_

_ 884. Shin Bon Hwa_

I am almost near the end of the updated list. Thanking God everytime I passed one name. But my heart almost stopped as I saw the next name after Lee Myung Hee. I closed my eyes once again, wishing the name isn't really there. That I only saw it because I was thinking too much about him. My eyes slowly fluttered open, but the name did not disappear. It was still there, pushing me to accept the reality. This bitter reality.

_ 885. Lee Myung Hee_

**_ 886. Kwon Jiyong..._**

_ 887. Shim Sung go_

"No..." I whispered, tears blurring my vision still focused on the computer monitor. "No.. this.. is.. no... not... true..this is not him... no...NO! NO! NOOOOOOOO!"

My screaming filled the house, and all the people in it quickly went to see what had happened to me.

"Dara-yah..." Eomma called my name as she walked to where I am.

It was still early and the kids are still sleeping. They don't need to see me breakdown like this. They need to see me strong. So I am thankful that they did not wake up.

"Noooo! Eomma..." Ji Eun, Durami and my mother went to hug as they read the list. Their eyes becoming teary as they read his name.

"Unnie..." Ji Eun's voice sounded so emphatic. She hugged from behind as she cried silently, sharing the pain I am feeling right now.

I did not know how long I cried. For only one thing has continued to fill my mind.

He's gone...

And he's not coming back. No matter how loud I call for his name...

* * *

><p>Another month had passed and the government still hadn't given us a call about Jiyong's death. The war had come to an end after the army had succesfully defended the country. One thing to be celebrated. But it doesn't change the fact that this war has caused so many lives to be taken away.<p>

My kids continued to ask me about their appa but I couldn't bear to tell them that he's not going to keep his promise anymore. That he's not going to follow here and bring us back home.

How do you explain to children that their father is dead and that they would never see him again. They would never be able to play with him. They would never be able to sing and dance with him. To play soccer. To watch disney shows. To play the piano while they sing.

How do you tell kids those things and won't make them cry.

Coward. That's what I am. I was so afraid to tell them the truth, for I know it would hurt them so much. He broke his promise to his little ones. When you you're self silently wishes that everything is just a nightmare. You'd wake up the next day realizing everything did not really happen.

_Life is cruel._

I caressed the sleeping aces of my my children. How I wish I could go back in time and snatch their father away from danger.

_Step.._

I kissed their forehead, Sujin unconsciously smiled and JaeSeong mumbled in his sleep. "Hhhhmmm. Appppaaa... Don't eat.. mine... hhhmmm..." as if whining to his father.

I covered my mouth with my right hand to stop myself from crying, closing my eyes. My other hand clutching the bed sheet.

_Step..._

Tears flowed freely down my cheeks as I gazed down upon my children. I have to tell them. Sooner or later. I have to. Even though I know it would hurt them. I can't keep them in the dark anymore. Innocently believing that their father would still reunite with us.

I tried not to choke on my tears, hoping not to wake the kids. I slowly got up, my eyes never leaving the two angels still in dreamland.

_Step..._

I felt someone standing close behind me. So close I could almost feel the rise and fall of the person's chest.

"Babe, why are you crying?" I stiffened. The familiar sound of his voice lingering in my ears.

Now I'm hearing his voice, I thought. "God, I miss him so much." I bit my lower lip and looked up in frustration.

I felt the soft rumbling of the his voice, as his shoulders go up and down while chuckling. I felt a pair of arms encircling my waist and heard his soft whisper, "I've missed you too, baby."

How I wish this is true. How I wish...

My brain stopped from completing the thought as felt him brush his lips at the side of my neck. "I've missed you soo much." continuously showering me soft wet kisses.

"Oh, God. Tell me this is not a dream."

I quickly unclasped his arms around me and whirled to face him. I did it so fast, afraid that once I face him, he'd vanish, slapping me with the reality of the situation that I am halucinating, imagining that he's back with us, with me.

But my eyes were filled with tears once more, as I take in his grinning face. I cupped his face and stared at him while the tears flows like a river down my face.

"This is not a dream..." he murmured, his hands tucking locks of coffee brown hair behind my ear, planting a soft hasty kiss on my now trembling lips. "I'm back."

"Jiyong!" it isn't a dream. He's here. He's really here! But... "But... you.. you're dead!"

He laughed quietly, not wanting to wake their children up. "Am I? Oh, I must be a ghost!" he remarked. "I have come to take you with me to heaven." He playfully said.

"How..."

"It wasn't me, baby girl. It was a different Kwon Jiyong... a senior high school student. I met his father during his burial, Kwon Bae Young. He.." but nothing else mattered anymore, he's safe. He's back, I threw myself at him and cried and cried, not really minding if the kids or the neighbors would be woken up by my loud bawling.

_He kept his promise. He is ours once again..._


End file.
